Saying no can earn you more respect than you might think, and isn’t always as hard as you expect. It takes courage, but when you explain yourself calmly and clearly to others, they usually find it hard to object, maybe they get a bit huffy but it will blow over quickly. That’s when you are likely to find that other people in the group felt the same way and respect you for taking a stand. The clever bit is to assert yourself without being smug and self righteous.

The easiest way to avoid being put in the position where you feel pressured to do things is to hang out with people who like the same things as you. Everyone would like to be in the ‘cool kids group’ but the experience may not to live up to your expectations when their behaviour is often about pushing the limits just to impress or intimidate others.

If you are worried about peer pressure, talking to someone can really help; close friends, parents and teachers can all help you to work out where you stand on the issues that you might be pressured on, like sex, drugs and smoking, maybe even truancy or criminal behaviour. It is definitely a lot easier to avoid the situation altogether or be able to say no when you have made your own decision - with help but without pressure.

If you do give in when the pressure is on, remember that you will have to live with the consequences of the choices you make. Chances are if it’s not a choice you are sure you will be proud of you will probably regret it.

For more help and information

Links and helplines

Peer pressure touches on many of the subjects featured in term-time, from bullying and racism to smoking and drinking, so click here to visit the main links page and find out more.

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