What can you do about it?

The first priority is to stay safe.

Try to avoid, if you can, the situations, places or times where abuse is likely to happen.

If violence between parents tends to spill over, try not to be in the same room, and don’t be seen to help or side with the victim if it means that you will become one too - if it’s your mum choose a time when you can be alone with her to show your love and support.

If things happen when a parent has been drinking, try not to be around when they come home from the pub or open a bottle at home. If it happens on pay day or perhaps a Saturday night, try not to be there or find a safe place to be until it’s over.

If you are being abused by one parent while the other is out of the house, which may be on a set night each week, try to make arrangements to be somewhere else, go and see your Nan a friend, a movie, or join a sports or youth club. If it happens when everyone else in the house is asleep, try to lock or block your bedroom door.

The next most important thing is to talk about it and let your feelings out.

Try talking to someone you trust, a friend, someone else in the family or your teacher. Tell them what is happening and how it make you feel.

If you feel to embarrassed or are worried that they won’t understand your situation, it may be better to talk to someone you don’t know. You can talk to a counsellor at Childline or the NSPCC National Child Protection Helpline. Women’s Aid and Refuge also operate a 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline. See the links below.

Talk to the organisation that can take actions against abusers or help you to get out.

Social services can arrange a safe place for you and mum if necessary.

The police can take action, physical and sexual abuse are criminal acts, an abuser can be charged and taken to court. They can be imprisoned or served with an injunction, which is a legal way of keeping someone away from you or stop them behaving in a particular way.

Other voluntary organisations, like Refuge, can provide a safe place go in a crisis or help you to leave home.

For more help and information

Links and helplines

The links listed provide additional information or an alternative view on this issue.

If you need to talk about your problems with someone you don’t know, all the helplines listed are free, confidential and manned by professionally trained counsellors.

 

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