Why do bullies do it?

There are many different reasons why bullies pick on others.

Some do it just because they think they can get away with it. Some because it makes them feel powerful and they think it will impress their friends or make them more popular. Some are encouraged or even pressurised by their friends in the first place.

Sometimes it is jealousy, perhaps against someone doing very well at school.

Some may even think the other person deserves it or ‘is asking for it’ because they are different in some way, they may be very short or tall, overweight or very skinny, they may have ginger hair, they may have a physical disability or learning difficulties, they maybe from a different background, race or country, or have a different sexuality, or just wear glasses.

Those who do it don’t understand how much it hurts to be bullied.

What can you do about it?

Understanding why bullies do it can help you to avoid being a victim.

But the most important thing is to get help. Start by talking to someone you trust, your mum or dad, perhaps a teacher or a friend, someone you are comfortable talking to. Tell them, when you are ready to talk about it, what is happening and how it makes you feel, and remember, it is not your fault and it is definitely nothing to be ashamed of.

With their support you can work out ways of dealing with the problem. The chances are it has happened to them too at some time in their life and they may be able to tell you how they dealt with it and help you to think of things to say to or do.

It may help to write down what has happened to you, with dates, times and places so that you can properly explain it to the person you have chosen to talk to. It’s also a good idea to keep threatening texts and e-mails. Discussing it will help you to find ways of dealing with bullies.

One easy way is to stick with a group of friends because bullies generally like to do it to people when they are on their own. But if you are confronted, the best idea is to ignore them and simply walk away.

If you can’t walk away, there are things you can do to, if you ask them to repeat what they said or say “NO” loud enough for everyone else to hear you will undermine a bully’s confidence. The main thing is, if you can, avoid giving in to their threats and show them that they are not getting to you, because if a bully fails to get a reaction they are likely to stop doing it. Show them that you are not afraid or upset and calmly walk away and in most cases they will give up.

But remember the golden rule, nothing is worth getting hurt for, if it comes to that don’t fight back, give the bullies what they want, property can always be replaced, you can’t.

The best source of help is probably your teacher. Most schools have an anti bullying policy and teachers will have been trained how to deal with it. It’s not grassing, a teacher will often be able to sort it out quickly and since the bully is likely to be doing it to a number of people they will never know who reported it!

It is also important to remember that most bullies were bullied themselves, so don’t be tempted to take your feelings out on someone more vulnerable than you, don’t become a bully.